Suarez has insisted that when you point at someone while stretching all the sinews of your face in uncontrolled fury, that is actually how Uruguayans accept people unquestioningly into their cultures.
A host of terror suspects in Guantanamo Bay are set to follow this example of brilliant defending by arguing that their attempts to blow things to buggery have simply been misunderstood.
Suspect Farid Ali said: "In my culture, this type of explosion is a typical welcome for all foreigners. I do not watch Eastenders so I had no idea these customs were not welcome in the UK."
Meanwhile, Uruguay has called for a summit with the UK to avoid further issues.
A government minister said: "If a Uruguayan beats you up with oranges that means you have offended him with your body odour. Our culture is highly complex."
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